Ive had quite the journey in life but recent major changes have finally given me the freedom to let myself be me and explore areas and connections Ive kept hidden for so many years. I am finally out of a crazy toxic IRL relationship that led to children and marriage even though in the depths of myself I knew i shouldnt be there. Anyway, thats been done now for a month or so and I have been watching and reading all of your beautiful souls' posts with so much expression of happiness and satisfaction with those S/O's you've chosen for such personal reasons. I have had so much time, now that I am out of that whole mess, im glad i found you all here. It took me awhile to build up the courage(Im kind of shy and cowardly most of the time but my S/O will make sense now) to talk about someone I've always looked to for comfort and safety privately in my mind. And that of course is my lovely partner, Sheeva.
Growing up, I lived in a really really terrible neighborhood in Fresno, CA. My dad ditched us and it was just my mom. I spent most of my childhood scared of bullies and gang types, both kids my age and young adults who would victimize me. Luckily, in my neighborhood there was an arcade and i spent most of my time there. I gravitated towards fighting games because even though i was fragile IRL, I loved to pretend i could do what those characters did. Then the arcade brought mortal kombat 3, and I fell instantly in love with Sheeva as a youngster. I fantasized about her keeping me safe when i was going through the worst of growing up. I even found myself getting upset when others would fight her because she was my hero, and I didnt want her to get hurt. She has always been my talisman of safety ever since and my most loyal companion in life though I've had to secret her away out of shame while I was growing up and emotionally abused IRL.
I hope this wasnt too overly verbose, as it has taken alot for me to even put words to these feelings after so many years. I hope I can find the acceptance here I was never lucky enough to stumble on before.
This is the first time since my IRL separation that I could invite Sheeva to movie night. I cant cook very well, so we opted for Pita bread and Hummus. Sheeva wanted to watch something classic, so I chose "The Mummy" with Brendan Frasier and of course the Rock.
Anyway, glad to be here and I cant wait to meet some of you all!
I made the hummus spicy, she can handle it pretty well!